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Carried |
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April 1999 |
| I love the poem called Footprints. I have shared it with so many patients. It just says that while we have our roughest times in life, there is only one set of footprints because God is carrying us. |
  Wave after wave of grief shook my body. It felt like the
ocean waves. Through the night I would awaken with my sobbing. It
tried not to awaken my husband, but he heard it anyway. My heart became very irregular and I felt dizzy. My sis
Julie had just died from cancer. I had done all I could to give her comfort and
love, singing to her, rubbing her feet, helping her in every way through
her last nights. Now that
she was asleep in Jesus, I kept reading the last notes I had made during
that last night together. |
 I remembered the request for window opening and shutting,
the times for the discolored swollen feet to be rubbed, and her desire to
go into a coma and never awaken. I remember telling her she had one more
job to do before that point. She needed to dictate a message for her
children and I would write it out for them. |
 I have kept all these notes
except the one to her husband, in my prayer journal where I was keeping
notes. She encouraged each one to spend time with Jesus first thing every
morning and to meet her in heaven. |
  What a hope we have in the resurrection.
She promised me she would come to my home in heaven for a strawberry
feast. |
  I was totally exhausted from this bereavement. My body
was weakened by the night shifts of care and my emotions were
unpredictable. Right after the memorial service, that very day, we had to move out of the
home we were loosing in bankruptcy. We had to move into tents and were
challenged with all our belongings being subjected to destruction by rain
and wind. I shed many tears over my rain drenched piano that I had worked
so hard for, for so many years. God did not leave me to bear it all alone. |
  My dear friend Nan who had traveled the world doing
mission work with me, came to transport me home after the memorial
service. Someone notified a group of people of our plight and they showed
up to pack for me. I lay dizzy, and sobbing in the corner while they
stuffed all my earthly belongings in bags. I had never had anyone pack for
me. It was such a kind thing for them to do. I just felt like it would be
better to die. My hope was gone out of me. My dear sister Jeanie insisted
I stay down resting and let people help me. Bless her heart, she also was
exhausted. |
 Also,
God knowing that we would go through this trial, sent a special dream to
my son a couple months before it all happened. When I was in the valley He
reminded me of this dream. God knew I would experience feelings of no
value and want to give up. Another blessing was a song sung by Jennifer
LaMountain. I sang it over and over until I began to feel determined to
live for My KING.
"Darkness around me, sorrow surrounds me, though there be trials, still I can sing, for I have this treasure, My God reigns within me and I am determined to live for my King. I am determined to be invincible till He has finished His purpose in me, and nothing shall shake me, for He'll never forsake me, and I am determined to live for my king..." You know, our valleys are where we realize how much God cares. From the depths of despair and poverty struggle living in tents, my eyes were opened to see what I never saw during prosperity. Praise God. He is my dearest Forever Friend. Jesus was always there for me. He visited me every day. He treasured and valued me as HIS TREASURE no matter if we had water in camp to be as clean as we were used to. I love Him so much. |
| God sent over my dear special friend Twyla who had gone to Laurelwood with me and who also trained as a nurse at Walla Walla. She worked so hard. Then Diane came and worked. Jan Coleman and others came. It is a blur in my memory for I was so weak. God was carrying me using my dear friends Twyla and the crew she organized. At four in the afternoon she went to get the rental truck to load for the move. Ron had worked a long shift in the emergency room and needed a nap so he could drive all night. |
| A team of four men were helping to load the truck. Then they stopped helping in discouragement and said I needed to be more organized and they left. They said they would be back the next evening. We were planning to leave in an hour. They said the freezer could not go anywhere unless it was empty. Twyla took out some frozen foods and went home and cried. Her husband came back with her and my husband woke up and loaded the freezer and the rest of the big stuff. I fell asleep exhausted and dizzy. I woke up to hear them say "good night" and realized we were not leaving till morning. Roger and Mrs. Rey were so kind and promised to help. By noon, the truck was full and we rolled for the long trip. By night we arrived on our land and pitched two tents and fell asleep exhausted. The children were great help in unloading the truck the next morning. The camping adventure was exciting to them. They looked at things so differently than I did. |
| Our precious friend Twyla invited us to lunch Sabbath. On Sunday she, Diane, and Janice helped scrub the house up nice. We polished everything. The home had 2,400 square feet and it was a big job. My children asked why we were cleaning things up so nice of it was to be taken in bankruptcy. I told them I still had hope that God would sell the home. I wanted it to be just as clean as I could make it. God would want HIS home clean. It would be a good witness to the next people living there. |
  God had seen my tears as I looked at the wonderful trees
on my place I was leaving. He had a nursery man give me a trailer full of
spruce, and other varieties that were just like the ones I left behind. As
Twyla and I were rolling a heavy dug and balled cedar of Lebanon towards
the trailer, I noticed a man walking up the driveway. I said to Twyla,
"well, look, that is probably the man God sent to help us load the
tree."
It was the neighbor Bruce and after it was placed on the trailer by his strong arms, he turned and said he was now ready to buy the home for 275,000 dollars and would place 20 percent down. All sale proceeds on our home were taken in the bankruptcy which followed but God had helped me sell this home to my neighbor in a process of negotiations over that whole year. As we drove out, he was signing papers to buy the home. |
| I thought of Joseph in the Bible story. Rich or poor, blessed or smitten, Joseph served God. I intended to do the same. I was thankful for how God used hands of HIS DEAR friends to help me through my valley of the shadow of my sisters death and loss of my security, home, and dignity. |
| My dear friend Twyla came by to check on the dogs and discovered I had not left yet, since my car was loaded for the trip, she took me to the bank to get the money orders needed to settle with the utility companies. My husband was gone to the hospital working another 36 hour shift and I desperately needed the help of my friends. God spoke to both Twyla and Diane that day and they helped me so much. |
| "Stand
firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today."
Exodus 14:13 NIV
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" I John 3:1 NIV "You are great and do marvelous deeds: You alone are God." Psalms 86:10 NIV The Lord has pledged His unfailing Word that His eye shall be over the righteous and His ear open to their prayer. Life Sketches page 270 and 271. Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will not permit the righteous to be moved. Psalms 55:22 (We were being moved yet not moved out of God's love and favor. Not moved out of His path to heaven.) "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy." Ps. 61:2 "And when all your belongings were seized, you endured your loss gladly, because you knew that you still possessed something better, which would last forever. Do not lose your courage...For just a little while longer, and He who is coming will come; He will not delay." Hebrews 10:34-38 "God is able to give you more than you need, so that you will always have more than enough for every good cause." 2 Cor. 9:8 "Is anyone in trouble, he should pray." James 5:13 "You have heard of Job's patience and how the Lord provided for him in the end." James 5:11 "The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land and will strengthen your frame." Isaiah 58:11
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| To
see the 45 star dream, click on this picture. It will take you from this
larom.org site to one of my other web sites. (illustratedbible.com) |