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DEATH THREAT |
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 Soon
after papers were signed, I came around the corner of my side of the
office and found Dr. Kai and his accountant mid sentence. The accountant
was saying "She will never figure it out". It was a concern of
mine to find what was being hidden. Now looking back on it all, I wish I
had found lawyer help. Yet, if I had perhaps the plans would have been
hidden from him also. |
| Dr. Kai demanded that I share the cost of supplies and office personnel evenly half and half with him. I could see that he had twice as many patients as I did. I also heard the girls on the phone encouraging patients of mine that they would be happier seeing a man because Dr. Rose was too busy for them. These girls were very loyal to Dr. Kai for he gave them their monthly pay checks. |
 I
took pages of the ledger home to study how they recorded payments for
services rendered. Studying was hard for I had two young boys at home that
wanted to see mama and get all her attention. After they were asleep, I
poured over the figures and made copies. I hoped to figure it out before
the baby was born. He was born 56 days after I began practice. |
 Daily
I kept my Bible on my desk and read a promise for comfort several times a
day as things became so miserable for me at work. I prayed for a tongue
sweetened with the oil of heaven.  I
prayed I would not loose my temper over this unreasonable doctor. I
was very near delivery and had a few contractions early with all the
stress. The truck arrived with our belongings the day I went into labor to
have our third son. There was a welcome party scheduled that night in my
office for me so I could meet the specialist doctors for referrals. I
prayed that God would keep baby from delivery till my day was done. I saw
several patients, discussed a school loan repayment problem with my new
lawyer, and had the party before the night of painful contractions
started. It was my birthday. I labored till five minutes after midnight
and then Kyle was born. In three days, I was back at work with my little
one. He was nursed between patients and the nurses loved him. One made a
blanket for him. He was a blessing to me. God gave me a very precious boy
in the middle of my crisis. |
| The doctor went to his buddies on the hospital staff and spoke so much evil about me that I was not really accepted by doctors. When I made a referral, they kept my patient and never encouraged them to come back for follow up. |
| The hospital administrator who had recruited me seemed to be in on the scheme. The retired doctor kept coming and having private meetings with Dr. Kai. I had promised the hospital five years of referral or I would pay back all the money they spent helping me move to Oregon. |
 I ended
up working hard for no pay for Dr. Kai kept the checkbooks locked up
and hidden from me. He demanded that I submit to his rule instead of
treating me on equal terms as a doctor. Daily I prayed for gentleness and
to have a soft answer but anger was growing in my heart. I had big
expenses with the recent move, camping in suitcases, medical school loan
repayments to make, and preparing to buy an old home. It was a harsh
introduction to the "dog eat dog" business world. I turned to my
Bible for comfort. I kept my Bible always with me and took notes on
the promises that seemed just perfect for me each day. God was there
giving me comfort in this dark storm. Dr. Kai was angry his partner had
sold out. He was angry that women patients of his were going to a woman
doctor. I did not realize this for I was so busy with my newborn and
living out of a suitcase. Many details escaped my notice.
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9. Happy is the person who remains faithful under trials, because when he succeeds in passing such a test, he will receive as his reward the life which God has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12 (Good News) |
| There is a saying in America that one is at the end of
their rope when there is not another remedy they can think of.
God needed to rescue me now. He had to give me courage and support, or I would fall into the darkness below and not survive this one. I had invested 9 years of my life getting training and going without. The investment did not look worth it. I might as well give up. I could not understand why God allowed this disaster when I had prayed about this practice purchase and the expensive move to Oregon from Kansas. It seemed the doors had all opened for me. What happened here? Had God forgotten me? I was on the last knot of the robe and hanging. While I was working and thinking these thoughts, the phone rang and a patient called stating how I must be wondering why all these problems when I had prayed carefully over the decisions to practice in Oregon and where to practice." Well," she said, "I for one am so very thankful I met you. I am so glad I have a Seventh Day Adventist doctor. We really enjoyed the service we had at your Adventist hospital. We are impressed with your concern for us. What is happening to you is wrong and God will see you through it."
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 The
timing of this call assured me I did not need to tell God anything. He was
crying with me. He saw it all and even read my thoughts. But why did he
not deliver me? I wanted freedom from this trial. I wanted vindicated at
the hospital of Osteopathic Physicians.
Some day in heaven the big picture of it will make sense. I had to trust in the dark while dangling on the end of my rope. " Be merciful to me LORD for I am in trouble. My eyes are tired from much crying. I am completely worn out. I am exhausted from sorrow and weeping. vs 12 I am like something thrown away." Ps 31:9 Good News Version The Lord will teach you the way you should go, I will advise you. Ps. 32:8 Good News When you pass through the deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you...Don't be afraid, I am with you. Is. 43:2 Good News Version Your work will provide for your needs. Ps. 128:2 |
 Over
a few days time I had faced threats to have my face smashed in and my
nose flattened, I experienced him grabbing and shaking me. This burly
German man came into my office where my newborn lay near my desk. His fist
was in the air. He shut the door and I was trapped with no escape from his
anger. I wondered if he might try to kill my baby. I prayed silently for help and gently, softly asked him what was
troubling him. His fist came down a bit and he said there was a 500 dollar
mistake on the ledger in my favor and he was sure I had kept quiet about
it because I needed the money. I assured him I had not noticed the girls
mistake and urged him to go with me and tell her. He was not through with
me. He must have planted this to use against me. I had not even studied
the ledger since this entry. It was a surprise to me.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. |
 On
November 1, 1989, we finally had everything lined up and could move into
the home we had bought. While moving in, there was a phone call to notify
me that Dr. Kai had a brain tumor. It was near the brain stem and
was about the size of a baseball. I hate to tell you this but I
sinned in my thoughts. I grinned quietly in the privacy of my home,
and felt happy that God was punishing finally, after all my prayers for
help. I knew God was not pleased with my thoughts so I went to my
knees to ask HIM for help.
God reminded me of this verse: "Don't be glad when your enemy meets disaster the Lord will not like it and maybe won't punish him" Proverbs 24:17 'Don't say, "I'll get even." ' Prov. 24:29 Miriam was punished with leprosy for her cruelty to the wife of Moses and to Moses himself. (Numbers 12:13) Moses responded by praying for her. Moses could have grinned and told her she had it coming for all the grief she had given him and his wife. Moses was forgiving like God is. I wanted to be like that. I prayed for help. |
 I
had been told by Dr. Kai that he did not want any religious stuff in his
office lobby. He was against anything that sounded of religion. I think
the Bible on my desk made him angry. He also had prejudice against women
as professionals.
After praying for God to change my heart and forgive my desire to "get even", I met Dr. Kai in the hall the day before his brain surgery. I told him that I would be praying for him. A strange soft look came over his face that was filled with anxiety. He actually seemed surprised. He dropped his head and quietly said, "That is probably all that will help me now. Thank you." |
| I
decided since he had a brain tumor I should forgive and forget all the
mean things he had done. I prayed for him during his long 9 hour surgery.
After he returned to work, things progressively got worse over the next 3
months until he was demanding I pay rent twice for he had to meet the
taxes on his building. When I told him I could not for I had great needs.
I had babysitter bills, school loan bills and he looked so angry. He
continued to keep the checkbook and refuse me any pay for my work. Finally
his anger was so great that he was threatening to
shoot me with his gun. My lawyer advised immediate exit and relocation of
practice to save my life. God helped me find a quiet place. He had several
patients come help transfer my equipment practically overnight. |
God encouraged me to drop the court battle that we were planning for justice. Vengeance is MINE says the Lord, I will repay. Be not wise in your own conceits. |
  God
provided a place I could buy. It was a condominium office. I paid Dr.
Syphers a down payment borrowed from Portland Adventist Hospital. My dear
brother came to remodel quickly so I could start immediately. In about
five days time, he and a patient had this place ready for business. My
brother Jack gave me a video story of a missionary who hired his pineapples
to be planted but the natives stole the fruit for themselves. When he
finally gave his pineapples to God, he had peace. I gave my business to
God. I let Him worry about all the mean phone calls from Dr. Kai. Since my
phone number had to change, it was hard for my new patients to figure out
where I had gone. The old office did not give them an honest answer. They
were instructed to keep all my patients going to that old office. I was
left with a fifty thousand dollar contract to pay for NOTHING. |
 The
emotional drain on me was enough to break the normal person. I am so glad
Jesus gave me strength! The exhaustion of giving birth to a third boy was
enough in itself. Then added to that was a move across 2,000 miles. Added
to that was starting a new business in family medicine. Added to that was
family tension. On top of it all, was a death threat by a gun at the hand
of an angry irritated, doctor afflicted by a brain tumor.
Jesus promises: "As your days, so shall your strength be." Deut. 33:25 He kept that promise to me. I said like Job: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes, blessed be the name of the Lord." Satan accused God of giving too much to Job. God said Job would serve Him even if God did not give him anything. God proved it by removing his protection allowing Satan to torment Job for awhile. When Job lost everything because God removed his protection, Job did not sin. His friends talked like some of mine did. They thought he had sinned and God was punishing him. When Job lost all his children, all his wealth, and his friends and wife made life miserable, Job was faithful. He said he was going to keep loving God no matter what happened. In the end of the trial, when Job prayed for the friends who hurt him, God poured out the blessings and he had more children and wealth. I did not understand but I hung onto my Jesus. He was my ROCK. He gave me a rope (faith) and strength to hang on. |
 After
I had worked through my grief and tried to start over in my new office, I came to where I
felt I had completely forgiven the poor angry man. News came that on his
ranch, he was found dead under his tractor. My first impulse was sadness
hoping that God had given him time to ask forgiveness. I prayed for his
family.
I felt so sorry for the poor man. I knew my old self before this trial would have rejoiced. God had done a miracle in my own heart. The miracle of forgiveness. |
God had given me the grace to forgive. The wounds healed over but the effect of the trauma affected us disastrously financially for more than 12 years. My accountant said we could never recover. We tried to prove him wrong by working 100 hours a week. The more we worked the higher our taxes so we never did prove the accountant wrong. Finally after years of suffering, we declared bankruptcy and lived in tents for a year till someone kindly loaned us a 50 year old set of single wide trailers. Still the bankruptcy was not able to set us free of debt. We had school loans and taxes which were declared immune to relief from bankruptcy. However, in bankruptcy we dissolved the debt of the practice I had purchased. God saw the whole picture of the damage done to us by Dr. Kai. He knew this was going to happen when I prayed to HIM asking HIM if we should buy the practice in Portland. Why did He not guide me around this? Could it be that He was desperate to save Dr. Kai and others who were involved? Could it be it was His last call to Dr. Kai and HE called him through me? We may never know the answers till we are in heaven. |
Here are notes I kept in my front of my Good news Bible as God taught me throughout this 7 month trial. HIS WORD WAS THE LIGHT FOR MY FEET. God's ways of conflict resolution are the best! These texts just seem to fit perfectly.
| Happy is the person who remains
faithful under trials, because when he succeeds in passing such a test, he
will receive as his reward the life which God has promised to those who
love him. James 1:12
The Lord is my strong defender; He is the One who saved me. He is my God, and I will praise Him, my Father's God, and I will sing about His greatness. Exodus 15:2 Thy WORD is a lamp unto my feet. Ps. 119:105 Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you. Psalms 55:22 I will sing of the goodness of the Lord. Ps. 89:1 HELP ME LORD, I feel worthless. I am kicked about by harsh words and lies. God is disappointed when we place a lesser value on self. DA 668 We may expect that false reports will circulate about us; but if we follow a straight course, if we remain indifferent to these things, others will also be indifferent. Let us leave to God the care of our reputation...Slander can be lived down by our manner of living. It is not lived down by words of indignation. Let our great anxiety be to act in the fear of God, and show by our conduct that these reports are false. No one can injure our character as much as ourselves." 3BC 1160, 1161 Bible commentary notes by Ellen White. |
| HELP
ME LORD, I am so tired of accusations by Dr. Kai that I'm cheating on the
ledgers when I do not even make the entries on them. He crushes me with
his continual threats, grabbing me, shaking me saying I did not charge
enough, threatening to smash my nose in because the girls made a 500
dollar mistake and did I not see it. He acted like he was sure I did see
it. Was it planted by him??? What can I do to clear my honest desire to
work and provide for my school loans and newborn baby?
I wander about like a lost sheep so come and look for me. Ps. 119:176 I have lived too long with people who hate peace. Ps. 120:6 The Lord will guard you, He is by your side to protect you. Ps. 121:6 Your work will provide for your needs; you will be happy and prosperous your sons will be like young olive trees around your table. Ps. 128:2 The wicked man vomits up the wealth he stole. Job 19:15 Be merciful to me Lord, for I am in trouble. My eyes are tired from much crying. I am completely worn out. I am exhausted from sorrow and weeping. vs. 12 I am like something thrown away. Ps. 31:9 The Lord said, I will teach you the way you should go. I will advise you. Ps. 32:8 When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you. For I am the Lord your God, the holy God of Israel, who saves you. vs 5 Don't be afraid--I am with you. Isaiah 43:2 God says, 'For a long time I kept silent. I did not answer my people. But now the time to act has come; I cry out like a WOMAN IN LABOR... Is. 42:14 Let those who wept as they planted their crops, gather the harvest with joy. Ps. 126:5 |
| Help me Lord! I feel like a lump
of nothing, no matter how kind I am, it seems Dr. Kai gets more hateful
and interprets everything opposite.
Let us thank the Lord Who has not let our enemies destroy us. We have escaped like a bird from a hunter's trap. Ps. 124:6 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a place of safety in times of trouble. Ps. 9:9 I will rely on your constant love. I will be glad, because you will rescue me. I will sing to you, O Lord because you have been good to me. Ps. 13:5 The Lord your God is with you. His power gives you victory. The Lord will take delight in you and in His love He will give you new life. He will sing and be joyful over you. The Lord says, I have ended the threat of your doom and have taken away your disgrace." Zeph. 3:17 Declare me innocent because I do what is right! Ps. 26:1 Let nothing terrify you. I will never abandon you. Those who are angry with you will know the shame of defeat. Is. 41:9 |
| Oh, no, Dr. Kai has been
diagnosed to have a brain tumor!
Don't be glad when your enemy meets disaster. The Lord will not like it and maybe won't punish him. Prov. 24:17 Worry can rob you of happiness but kind words will cheer you up. Prov. 12:25 Don't say, I will get even. Prov. 24:29 Miriam got leprosy as punishment for her harsh words and prejudice against the darker skinned wife of Moses. She also gossiped about Moses. Moses did not say "It serves you right" or "you got what was coming to you". He knelt and prayed for his sister. I needed to be like that. Jesus prayed for those who were killing him. "Father, forgive them." Stephen when being stoned to death said, "Father, lay not this sin to their charge". I promised to pray for his recovery. He thanked me and looked hopeful. Prior to this he said there would be no prayers or literature in the office!! He had a 9 hour surgery and returned to the office. |
| Help Lord, he is increasing in his
cruelty and unfair practices to me. I am afraid of this man who offered to
smash my face in with his fists. How can I get out of Shelton
Grove???? I have no money for all my work. What can I do without money?
(Jan & Feb. 1990)
Lord, we do not know what to do but we look to you for help. We stand before you with our children....the battle is the Lord's, you will not have to fight. Believe his prophets and you will succeed...When they began to sing, the Lord threw the invading armies into panic. They turned on each other in savage fighting. 2 Chronicles 20:12-22 When hope is crushed, the heart is crushed. But a wish come true fills you with joy. Prov. 13:12 Get good advice and you will succeed. Don't go charging into battle without a plan. Prov. 20:18 |
| EXODUS FREEDOM
You blew on the sea and the water piled up high. It stood up straight like a wall; the deepest part became solid. Exodus 15:8 An escape was provided---out of Shelton Grove (shady grove) into the peaceful garden with many flowers.. Funds for this were loaned to me by Portland Adventist Medical Center. The enemy said, I will pursue them and catch them vs. 9 (Dr. Kai threatened to shoot me as I exited with my charts.) "I will divide their wealth and take all I want" (Dr. Kai kept all accounts receivable. He kept all payments in his pocket. He paid all his overhead with my wages. He had to give them up a few months later to settle instead of going to court) Faithful to Your promise You led the people by your strength, You guided to your sacred land. (to an office of my own where I could be FREE. There would be no abuse against me for being a woman, for my religious beliefs, or for how I cared for the sick. I could share Bible promises, have Christian music played in the waiting room, have pictures with Scriptures on them, and be free of his cut downs.) The Israelites walked through the sea on dry ground. But the Egyptian chariots with their horses and drivers went into the sea. The Lord brought the water back, and it covered them. Exodus 15:19 |
| Dr. Kai fought for many items he
said I had stolen. Lawyer Sharp mediated between us.
Be generous and you will be prosperous. Help others and you will be helped. Proverbs 11:25 Wisely spoken words can heal. Proverbs 12:16 |
| My brother Jack shared the video of the pineapple story
with me. He urged me to give my pineapples to the Lord. If God wants Dr.
Kai to have HIS pineapples, that is HIS business. This fantastic story of
a missionary who hired natives to plant pineapples was angered when he saw
these same people come and run off with the fruit. Finally he stopped
trying to protect them and gave them to God. It scared the natives and
they urged him to get the garden back from God. The message was just for
me because there was such a battle over whose things were whose when I
separated away from Kai's practice.
When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him. Is. 59:10. Early Writings p. 60 Prayer turns aside the attacks of Satan. COL 250 Christ Object Lessons by Ellen White God would have the lives of His workers carefully sustained. They are His property, and He is dishonored when they are compelled to labor in a way that injures their health. 9T 52 (God did not want me to work so hard to succeed that my health would break. After all, I was mother of 3 young boys and deserved to rest at night instead of staying all night to clean house and catch up on laundry.) God will guard the interests of those who love and fear Him, and with confidence we may commit our case to Him who judges righteously. COL 249 Isaiah 60:20 Your days of grief will come to an end. Is. 62:4 No longer will you be called forsaken. Your new name will be: God is pleased with her. Your land will be called happily married. The time has come when the Lord will save His people and defeat their enemies. Is. 61 Violence shall no more be heard in the land. Is. 60:18
I too could not be given eternal life if I could not forgive for it is written: Jesus said: Mathew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: I have a whole section on how to process forgiveness. It was not easy for me for I have suffered 12 years over his actions. But Jesus gave me the victory in forgiveness. Read my notes on how to forgive by going to web site: illustratedbible.com Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death. By faith are we saved. Lord, search me, and show me if there be any wicked way in me. Psalms 139:24 And see if [there be any] wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: |
Three of my most terrible tragedies started when I
finished residency. I bought a practice and the retiring gentleman left a
doctor partner behind who planned to also retire in a couple of months to
a year. He noticed that his
lady patients came to me instead of him. I did not realize this was
happening because all patients were new to me. He became very jealous and
it took me time to discover the reason for his anger. I was in the last
month of pregnancy with my third son and was extremely busy getting ready for the
new son, caring for two little boys, living out of suitcases 2,000 miles
from our Kansas City home that my husband was painting and selling. My
dear parents allowed us to stay in a room of their home while the loan was
being processed on a home in Portland. God gave me strength for tasks that
normally take 5 people to do. It was all I could do to finish the move, begin practice, find a
home and get things in order for the new baby.
I
was at the end of my rope in those first 2 months of Family Practice. I
remembered the old swimming hole in Falls City, where I grew up. I swung
out over the stream but could not let go and dive in. I was afraid I would
hit my head on the rocks. The rope swung back to the bank with me hanging
on for dear life. I was then rescued.